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Have a story, poem, song, verse, etc. that
encourages others in the Lord? Email it to me at keri@alternatemelody.com (or go to the "Contact Us" page). Keri
Click here to view the'Poetry Page'
"Coffee Break"
Contents... My blog, stories and verses New
Beginnings - Tough Goodbyes: USAF BMT (scroll down) Transformation
(scroll down a little more) Dealing with Uncertainty-Brain
Tumor!! (scroll down lots) Emmanuel - God
with Us - Lyrics (keep scrolling) Lost and Found Sheep
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| Airman Jacobs' BMT Graduation |
New Beginnings – Tough Goodbyes 000 “Courage is doing
what you are afraid to do.” Captain Eddie Rickenbacken; airman
WWI; from the United Stated Air Force Memorial, Arlington, VA ... Several weeks ago we pushed our son. It was one of the hardest
things I’ve done as a parent. On the eve of departing for U.S. Air Force Basic Training, our son announced, “I’m
not going.” He had signed up for the delayed entry program into the USAF several months before. It was time to leave
home, and I believe the realization finally hit him. To say his comfortable life at home with an easy senior year, some part
time work and hours watching NFL network would change drastically would be an understatement. He had loads of self doubt.
He seemed torn and miserable. But we had to make him hold to the decision he had already made. It was so hard and my doubts
were haunting me, “What if this totally turns him against the service? What if he hates us because he thinks we forced
him to do this?” It was a difficult time. We set off to take him to his hotel
where he’d spend the night around many others also shipping out. He met with his recruiter and, in that environment,
again was committed. The next day we were to see him at Ft. Meade for his ‘shipping out ceremony.’ Again, I had
my doubts. What if he looks miserable? Instead he was more at peace with his decision. We were able to spend time together.
After all those shipping out took their oath at the swearing in ceremony, they looked proud. They still looked like civilians,
but they had potential! Now he’s several weeks into basic training. This is a difficult time for the
parents and a tough 8 ½ weeks for the new airmen. They get yelled at all the time and can rarely phone home.
It’s HOT in San Antonio (100ish) and I wonder how they’ll do all the physical training in full combat garb and
boots, etc. I wonder about the million things that I now worry about with him…. Will he graduate on time? Is his
squadron doing well? Will he get deployed? I’m as scared and uncertain as he was the night before he left. I had written Bible verses down for him to take. I had prayed for him and assured him that the Lord would care for
him and be his helper. Now I need to trust the Lord and know He IS taking care of Scott and helping him.The time of waiting, wondering and not knowing anything is difficult. ... Here are the Bible verses I gave to Scott and am praying for him and the others he’s training
with: "Have
I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the LORD your God is
with you wherever you go." Joshua
1:9 “I
can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13 “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in
trouble.” Psalm 46:1 Then Jesus again spoke to them, saying, "I am the Light of the world; he who follows Me
will not walk in the darkness, but will have the Light of life." John 8:12 “Never will I leave you; never
will I forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5" ... The cliff edge of our anxiety about the future may indicate
that God is calling us to a new and different level of faith. When we walk, praying for guidance, to the edge of all
the light we have and breathlessly take that first step into the foggy mystery of the unknown, we must believe that one of
two things will happen: either God will provide us with something rock-solid to stand on, or He will teach us how to fly."
Lucy Shaw from The Crime of Living Cautiously. Shared by Adalee Lewis
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| Saluting the Flag - BMT Graduation |
Transformation “August 28, 2009: 51 civilians died. 51 airmen born. Squadron 326 Bulldogs”This
was on my son, Scott’s, t-shirt. He had just graduated basic military training (BMT) for the USAF. It was an amazing
transformation – 8 ½ weeks ago he was apprehensive, scared, and unsure of himself shipping out to Lackland AFB.
Now on graduation, he and his fellow airmen are assured, confident, team players, obedient, mannerly, neat, respectful, the
list of positive adjectives goes on and on! They were transformed. Though I’ve
never experienced boot camp, I reflected on their intense training and what they went through to change them.There are related spiritual principles that we can draw from as
we seek to become transformed into a new creation in Christ Jesus. My son, as a new airman, has not had
to suffer the hardships of deployment or war, nor have many of us as Christians suffered persecution for our faith. Still,
we can learn from our hardships, our trials and our suffering. In BMT, the trainees were put through rigorous training in
south Texas record breaking heat in full uniform, combat simulation, work and training through sleep deprivation and other
challenging experiences. They experienced this together, with their squadrons, and drew upon strength knowing their trials
had a purpose and they were not alone.
“There will be demands upon your
ability, upon your endurance, upon your disposition, upon your patience… just as fire tempers iron into fine steel
so does adversity temper one’s character into firmness, tolerance and determination.” Lt. Colonel Margaret Chase-Smith; from the USAF Memorial
1 Peter 1:6,7 “In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to
suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even
though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.” James 1:2-4 “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”
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| Post Op - trying to smile! |
Brain Tumor!?? My Acoustic Neuroma Blog
On Sunday, October 28, 2008 I ran Marine Corps Marathon! Slowly, but I’m
probably in the best shape of my life.But
there’s that doctor’s appointment with the ENT specialist on Tuesday for my ear problems; hopefully he can do
something to correct my hearing loss that’s been going on for months. My family doctor tried several types of treatment
to no avail. But surely, the ENT doctor will figure it out. Maybe I just need a tube in my ear or something relatively simple.
Doctor: “Your ear is fine; you may have a small brain tumor…” BRAIN TUMOR! “You need to go get an MRI…”I wait for the MRI day to come…. I wait for the results and my follow
up appointment…I check in with receptionist;
“Honey, don’t even sit down; come back and talk to Dr. B.”That was scary! Doctor: “You
have a small to medium sized tumor on your cranial nerve. It’s called an acoustic neuroma.”
Acoustic neuroma. I’ve never heard of that. Slow growing. Benign. Sometimes
you just leave them there, says the doctor. But go see this neurosurgeon in Baltimore.Slow growing…. Leave it there. Benign. OK, no problem. I’ll just let it sit there for a few years and
go get a hearing aid. I can live with that. November - I start reading and researching AN’s. I join the Acoustic
Neuroma Association and their online forum (great, supportive group of people; great organization).My husband, Gary, reads the info… he says, “This is a lot more
serious than you think.”
I go see neurosurgeon #1 and find out the different treatment options:Radiation or surgery? I’m leaning towards surgery. In very simplistic terms, radiation kills it; surgery removes
it. I decide that I would like it gone.Types
of surgery – there are three basic approaches, based on whether there’s a hope of preserving your hearing. My
hearing is pretty well shot so we opt for ‘translabyrinthine’ – a type of surgery that gives
a clear, open view of the facial nerve but, unfortunately, severs the hearing nerve. You lose all your hearing on the AN side,
but hopefully, your nerve controlling your facial movement is left undamaged. Your vestibular nerve (affecting
balance) is usually also compromised. I meet neurosurgeon #2 and schedule the translab for January 29th.
The big date - that’s way in the future, I don’t even need to think about it yet. So
I don’t, too much. Sometimes I get a little nervous, but it’s so far away.I’ve just written this song recently based on Ps 62. The chorus: “My soul finds rest in God alone.”
I find myself waking up at night and trying to think of those words and take comfort in them. I
want to stay busy and make plans…I plan a great Christmas Eve service at church full of music; it’ll be my last
with hearing in both ears. I take a day trip to NYC with my daughter. I may not take any trips for a while.
I try to attend a few concerts because I know that soon half my hearing will be permanently gone. I
try to keep the running going – I’m afraid if I quit now and come out of surgery, I’ll never feel like running
again. I’ve already signed up for my next half marathon – National in late
March 2009. I signed up before I heard the words “acoustic neuroma.’ At this point, I doubt if I’ll be able
to do it.
When my journey with the AN started, I felt pretty good physically. I had
lousy hearing in one ear, but it had developed so slowly, it was something I got used to. Now, later in
December, I’m starting to feel weird, off balance, ‘wonky headed’ is what ANer’s call it.
I’m dizzy and always have a chorus of ringing in my ear. The date gets closer… I’m
worrying about my three kids; especially Shannon (my 19 year old autistic daughter). She’s been exhibiting some troubling
behavior and has seemed to digress. What if will happen when I’m in the hospital? How will I take
care of her at home? How can I deal with her and her special needs? My soul, find rest in God alone.
The Sunday before surgery will be
my last playing with my music group at church for a while. So much of my life is wrapped up in music – how will I lead
the group or hear them effectively with half my hearing gone? They all stand on my soon to be deaf side! I just don’t
know what life will be like on the ‘other side of surgery.’ For that service, I select music and songs that give
assurance of God’s strength and help in times of weakness. January 29th is here.5:00am - off to Baltimore. Once I get there, it’s constant activity.
Blood work; change into that ugly gown; shave head OH NO! I negotiate with my “barber.” It seems like he’s
cutting so much off. More little bald spots to connect the MRI leads. To his credit, he tries to get under a layer of hair
so that the shaved areas will be hidden. I think this must be punishment because I’ve never donated my long hair before
to chemo patients. My pastor comes in, prays for me and reads Psalm 34. This is helpful and
comforting. The nurse comes in to tell me
they’re going to give me some ‘happy meds!’I think at this point I say goodbye to Gary. I don’t remember being wheeled away. I do remember
the operating room before I’m out. It’s so busy; so fascinating. I want to stay awake and see everything…ZZZZZ
It’s 6:30pm; I wake up in neuro ICU.
Wow, that took a while. So thirsty. Chips of ice are as good as the Turkish delight in Narnia.
Before I had surgery, I knew I’d be in the hospital for Super Bowl Sunday. I thought I’d want all my
friends to come up and watch the game with me. Or maybe I’d befriend other patients in the hospital and we’d go
watch it in a hospital lounge. I never realized I’d still be in pain and so out of it, so no Super Bowl party for me!
I didn’t really care. I remember 2 plays. The upside, if you don’t like the results of the game (I didn’t)
it just doesn’t matter. The downside – I don’t remember a single commercial! Were they good this year? I
stay in neuro ICU for 5 days. In the middle of the night, strange things happen. I’m wheeled away for an MRI or CT scan
(initially they were concerned about a clot in the back of my brain). I must have had 4 scans post surgery before leaving
the hospital. Also, the residents come in the middle of the night (it’s probably 5 or 6:00am, it
just seems like the middle of the night). I wake up and they’re all gathered around my bed – happy (why are they
happy at 5:00am)? “Good morning, Mrs. Jacobs! Can we shine this light in your eyes? Can we check your bandages? SMILE
– squish your eyes like this – make this face!” It was kind of humorous in a way. The doctors seemed concerned
about my facial paralysis. The left side of my face is swollen and doesn’t move. They say it’s
temporary – the facial nerve responded to stimulation at the end of the surgery. But, after several days, it’s
still dead. I thought the chance of this was remote with translab?? Memories in the hospital…
friends coming and going, but I don’t really remember that too well. My kids visiting coming – I know they were
concerned but I think they really had a difficult time seeing me looking like I was beat up with my head all bandaged up.
My autistic daughter comes and handles it better that I thought she would. The negatives – being in pain and out of it. Meds given in IV’s (that hurts); shots in the stomach (that
hurts too!); mushed up food because I can’t chew effectively. The positives – I know I’m in good care. My
doctors and nurses are wonderful and helpful. My friends and family are supportive and praying. Gary is managing everything
at home, commuting 45 minutes each way. My Lord is taking care of me through the hands of others.
Five days after surgery, I go home.
Day 2 of being home I try to go for a walk. It’s freezing cold; I use a walking stick and hobble along at a very slow
pace. I call this ‘training for my next half marathon!’ Week 2, 3, 4,
come and go. My facial nerve is waking up a little. I don’t notice this too much, but others do who see me weekly. I’m
still getting some killer headaches, and my eye isn’t working right. I begin working part time (paperwork from home).
I need to rest a lot. Week 3 – I start running again – very slowly, with lots of walking
as well. At some point I take up driving again. Week 5 – I return to playing piano at church. It’s good to be
back. My hearing is quasi adequate. Things sound different, but I can hear and function fairly well. 7
½ weeks post op, I completed the National Half Marathon I had signed up for long ago. I took it
easy and ran it slowly and finished. It was a great feeling. Now I’m several months post
op. My facial paralysis is a lot better; I have balance issues (feel tipsy), tinnitus (ringing) and fatigue. My hearing loss
is difficult in noisy situations, but people are patient with me and talk to my right side, and repeat, repeat! I’m thankful to the Lord for His help and His strength. I’m thankful for my husband and family; my church
family and other friends, and the great support from the online forum friends of the ANA support group. I hope to be a help
and support to others as well.
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| Finish Line! National Half Marathon |
Here are some verses and thoughts that helped and strengthened
me before my surgery. I hope they will do the same for you, whatever uncertainties you may be facing. 000 from
Psalm 71 "In You, O Lord, I put my trust. Be my strong refuge to which I may resort continually. You are my rock and
my fortress. You are my hope, O Lord God; my trust from my youth. I will hope continually and will praise You yet more and
more. My mouth shall tell of Your righteousness and Your salvation all the day, for I do not know their limits. I will go
in the strength of the Lord God." 000 "Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape
your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming
together for good (His peace) will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the
center of your life." Philippians 4:6,7 'The Message' Bible paraphrase. Shared by
Joanne Hamilton 000 From Psalm 34, the Psalm my pastor read to me right before my surgery: "I will extol the Lord at all times; His praise will always be on my lips. My
soul will boast in the Lord; let the afflicted hear and rejoice. Glorify the Lord with me; let us exalt His name together.
I sought the Lord, and He answered me; He delivered me from all my fears. The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear
Him, and He delivers them. The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; He delivers them from all their troubles.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." 000 "His way is perfect."
a short phrase from a get well card written to me from Jean Bascom. I return to this over and over again as I seek to
trust the Lord. 000 "My soul finds rest in God alone." Psalm 62:1 000 Click PLAY to hear "Deus Forte" (A Strong God); partially
mixed
----------------------------------------------------------------------- December
2008 - Christmas is over; I'm running late... here are some special Christmas lyrics...
"Christ, to Thee with God the Father, and,
O Holy Ghost, to Thee; hymn and chant and high thanksgiving and unwearied praises be; Honor, glory
and dominion, and eternal victory, evermore and evermore!" Of the Father's
Love Begotten; Aurelius Prudentius "O
come, Desire of nations, bind all peoples in one heart and mind; bid envy, strife and quarrels cease, fill all the world with
heaven's peace. Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel shall come to Thee, O Israel." O
Come, O Come Emmanuel "So bring Him
incense, gold and myrrh, come, peasant, king to own Him; the King of Kings salvation brings, let loving hearts enthrone Him.
This, this is Christ the King, Whom shepherds guard and angels sing; Haste, haste to bring Him laud, the Babe, the Son of
Mary." What Child is This? William C. Dix "O holy Child of Bethlehem, descend to us, we pray; cast out our sin and
enter in; be born in us today. O come to us, abide with us, Our Lord Emmanuel." O Little Town of Bethlehem; Phillip Brooks "As they offered gifts most rare at that cradle rude and bare; so may we with holy joy, pure and free
from sin's alloy, all our costliest treasures bring, Christ, to Thee, our heavenly King. Holy Jesus, everyday keep
us in the narrow way; and when earthly things are past, bring our ransomed souls at last where they need no star to guide,
where no clouds Thy glory hide." As with Gladness Men of Old; William C. Dix "Shall we still dread God's displeasure, who, to save freely
gave His most cherished Treasure? To redeem us, He hath given His own Son from the throne of His might in heaven."
All My Heart This Night Rejoices; Paul Gerhardt "Now let us all with one accord sing praises to our Heavenly Lord; that hath made
earth and heaven of naught ,and with His blood mankind has bought." The First Noel "O come let us adore Him, Christ the Lord!"
September 2008: I recently returned from a
trip to Wales (greetings Seion Chapel in Maerdy!!), so our new topic is sheep. Lost sheep... found sheep... read on...
"Like sheep we all had wandered far
from the fold of the Shepherd of the sheep. Each of us had gone astray, yet He sought us though we strayed - and brought us
home, and brought us safely home to God." from "Crucified" based on Isaiah 53 from "Where Morning Dawns"
CD.
The King of Love my Sheherd is, whose goodness faileth never; I nothing lack if I am His, and
He is mine forever. Where streams of living
water flow my ransomed soul He leadeth and where the
verdant pastures grow, with food celestial feedeth. Perverse
and foolish oft I strayed, but yet in love He sought me And
on His shoulder gently laid, and home, rejoicing brought me. In
death's dark vale I fear no ill with Thee, dear Lord, beside me Thy rod and staff my comfort still, Thy cross before to guide me. And so through all the length of days Thy goodness faileth never; Good Shepherd, may I sing Thy praise within Thy house forever. "The King of Love M Shepherd Is" from Psalm 23 by Rev Sir Henry W. Baker |
